Positive Attitude, Belief, and Behavior

Three important elements for a healthier life are (1) the attitude that you have toward your life, (2) the beliefs that you model your personal life, and (3) the behavior that you have towards yourself and others. These three elements are tightly connected and connected and can either make or break the way your outlook towards life affects your health. Let’s break these three elements down even further:

* Attitudes: Attitudes are the ways that you react to situations, and to people, based on the assumptions and the beliefs that you have learned.
* Beliefs: Your beliefs are the conjectures that you make about yourself, other people, and situations. Your beliefs are based on what you think and how you think things are. Your beliefs will make you react the way that you do and cause your expectations to remain within a certain framework of thoughts.
* Behaviors: Your behavior is how you implement the attitudes that you have adopted towards situations and people.

When you positively change your attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors you open the door to new possibilities. Good health depends on your ability to change and be willing to learn new ways of thinking and doing things.

One of the techniques that you can adopt to change your behavior is to model your personal beliefs on someone whom you admire and respect. When you find someone who is healthy and successful in a way that you define health and success you need to take a look at what they are doing and how they are doing it. Model your own personal excellence around this person who is your role model. You’re not adopting WHO they are; you’re modeling your own personal success on someone who you define as successful.

Another thing that you should concentrate on is to ask yourself who you’re mixing with. If you find that you’re spending time with unhealthy people you wouldn’t define as happy then you need to start mixing with those people who you would define as leading happy, healthy, and successful lives. This doesn’t mean that you leave behind those people in your life who you think don’t meet the above terms. It only means that you start mixing with those people you have an attitude towards their personal life that you would consider to be positive and healthy.

What Holds You Back? You need to find out what it is that is holding you back from flourishing in your personal life. This means that you have to work with your belief system:

* Identify beliefs. Identify those beliefs that are holding you back. When you think that something should be the way it is only because you’ve always known it to be so, then you need to change that belief. You’re only as successful and productive as your most positive beliefs. Be willing to make changes in your belief system to reflect new expectations.
* Limiting beliefs. The more you limit your beliefs the less likely you are to succeed in any area of your life. Limiting your beliefs is much like putting parameters and walls around the limits of your success. You need to expand your beliefs so that you can find the winning attitude that will help you achieve the health and happiness that you want. You need to throw away or change those beliefs that are limiting you from reaching your goal of personal health.
* Empowering beliefs. When you have identified beliefs that are positive and expanding you need to implement these beliefs and achieve excellence in all areas of your life.
* Changing beliefs. Changing your beliefs takes time and a change in your overall attitude. Half the battle is being aware that you need to make changes. The other half of the battle is taking the steps to make those changes.

Who’s Thinking in Your Head? You can take control of the way that you think and the way that you behave in ways that you’ve never considered before. This means that you have to change the way that you “talk” to yourself as well as change the tone in which you say things to yourself. We all have a way in which we mentally talk to ourselves. You have the ability to change any negative talk to self-talk that is positive and supporting. It all comes back to that inner confidence and knowing that you can achieve your goals by making positive changes. Who you let think inside your head is one of these changes.

The physiology of the way that you think needs to change so that you look up and think positively rather than look down and focus on the things in your personal and business life that aren’t working. Only you can change the way that you look at things. Changing your physiology is in your power. When you believe in yourself there are no limits and all your goals are in your reach. The physiology of your thinking is based on your attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors.

Take the time to access your attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors so that you can determine what you need to alter, discard, or replace so that you can move forward in your personal life and achieve the health that you want.

Believe in Yourself

One of the most important and beneficial concepts that you can adopt is “believing in yourself and who you are.” When you have the inner confidence that tells you that what you’re doing is the right thing you can reach any goals that you set for yourself. The concepts and ideas for health that you’ve learned in this book will give you the belief in yourself that you need to succeed. When you have this belief you’ll see your health improving.

When you believe in yourself you can accomplish not only the achievements that you’ve already defined for yourself, you can achieve those as yet unrecognized goals. When you have a strong personal belief system you’ll approach every area of your life with confidence and assurance. You’ll instinctively be able to deal with any situation that comes along in both your personal and your professional life. In relation to your health this means that you’ll be able approach your life with the self-reliance that says you know what you’re doing and that you like yourself.

Anger Management

Anger, of all human emotions, perhaps no other is more puzzling or troublesome. None of us likes to be angry and yet we can't seem to prevent ourselves from feeling this way at times. We are often told, "it’s nothing to get angry about," and still an angry response often seems to be amongst our first. We are taught from a young age that we must learn to 'control our anger' and yet we all 'lose it' from time to time.

While it is normal and healthy to experience anger, how we react when angered can have a significant impact on our relationships, our work, and our health. A Chinese proverb states, "By controlling the anger of a minute, you may avoid the remorse of a lifetime." But how does one control anger, especially when it seems to be such an automatic response? Anger management experts suggest the following:

* Understand why you get angry: Anger is an emotion that helps us to defend ourselves in the face of threat. If you become angry it is because something has occurred which has been perceived as a threat to your physical safety, or more frequently, to your psychological well-being. Usually it is easy to identify the events that lead us to experience anger. It is more difficult to identify why we perceive these events as a threat. Think about the last time that you became angry. Review the events that led you to feel this way. Now, think about how you may have perceived these events as a threat. Perhaps the actions of another person made you feel unimportant, worthless, or invalid. Once you have acknowledged the threat, you are better able to defend yourself.
* Take ownership of your anger: A common belief is that our anger is the direct result of the actions of others. This belief implies that your anger will not go away until others change how they are acting. The fact of matter is that our anger results from our perception that events in the environment are a threat to us. Maybe you've noticed that the exact same event evokes an anger response from you sometimes, but not others. Much of whether you experience anger depends on whether or not you perceive these events as a threat. In other words, we create our own anger (just as we create our own happiness, sadness, or any other emotion). This means that we are in control of how much anger we experience. By changing your perception of a situation, you can control how angry you feel.
* Interrupt the anger response: Most of us have heard the advice, "If you are angry, count to ten before you say or do anything." This is good advice. By focusing your attention on a mundane task like counting, you give yourself a chance to calm down. Once you are calm, you can think more clearly about what you are feeling and why. More importantly, you can plan a course of action to resolve the situation more effectively.
* Re-evaluate the situation: Unfortunately, when we are angry, our thinking often become irrational. We make assumptions about what others are thinking (e.g. "he thinks he's better than me") or what their motives are (e.g. "she is doing this because she knows it will bother me"). We also tend to male rash judgments about others (e.g. "he's an idiot") and overgeneralizations (e.g. she always acts this way"). Problems arise when we act as if these assumptions, judgments, and overgeneralizations are true. The next time you become angry, evaluate your thinking. Are you making irrational assumptions, rash judgments, or overgeneralizations? Review the situation and see if you can come up with another interpretation. Consider alternative explanations for why somebody did what they did. Evaluate whether your judgments and generalizations are true. By re-evaluating the situation, you broaden your interpretation of events that you initially perceived as threatening. As a result, they may not seem so offensive.
* Be assertive, not aggressive: As mentioned earlier, anger serves a very important function. It prepares us to defend ourselves against threats to our physical safety or psychological well-being. Although it is often appropriate to feel angry, it is never appropriate to use that anger to do harm. Instead, use your anger to cue an assertive response. An assertive response is one in which you exert your rights as an individual without subsequent offense. Effective assertion does not provoke unwanted feelings of aggression on the part of the listener. Also: being assertive in the face of anger involves first calming yourself, re-evaluating the situation to make sure you are not acting on irrational interpretations, and reminding yourself that you own your anger. If, after taking these steps, you still feel that a response is warranted, think of a way you can communicate to the other person how you feel without attacking them. Try saying in a calm and controlled tone, "I feel angry when I think... (describe how you see the event)." This will inform the other person of your interpretation of their actions and of your emotional reaction to that interpretation. It will allow the other person to clarify their intent and will provide an opportunity for both of you to resolve the issue in a calm and collaborative manner.
* Venting may not help: Research shows that "venting" or repeatedly reviewing and discussing the offending event, may not lead to a reduction in feelings of anger. In fact, excessive venting can actually prolong your anger response. While it can be helpful to discuss your feelings with others, it is not helpful to rehash the offending event over-and-over once the situation has been resolved. If you find yourself repeatedly replaying an anger-provoking situation, try thought stopping. This technique involves saying the word "STOP" to yourself anytime you catch yourself rehashing the event. Then, say to yourself, "I've already dealt with this and it is time I move on." This may be difficult at first, and you may find that you quickly return to talking or thinking about the offending event. Stick with it, and eventually your anger will fade.
* Take constructive action: If you find that you are frequently unhappy or angry, it may be time that you take action to correct the situation. After all, the responsibility for your happiness (and your anger) is yours. If, after evaluating the situation you feel a change is needed, formulate a plan to bring about that change. First, clearly identify what the problem is and how it can be solved. Next, identify the specific steps you need to take and the order in which you need to take them. Then, set a specific date by which you will initiate each step and follow through. As you progress through your plan, you can feel good about the fact that you are actively taking steps to correct the situation.

You will probably never eliminate anger from your life, and given the importance anger plays in self-protection, you probably don't want too. However, by using the right tools and techniques, you can control your anger and use it constructively to improve your quality and enjoyment of life.

Reduce Worry/Anxiety

Perhaps you're someone whose mind is always busy. Do you think about the events of your day as you wind down for the evening? Do you worry about your family, your job, your finances, and what tomorrow will bring? Sometimes it's difficult to empty your mind of all these details long enough to get the mental rest that you need every day.

There are several ways that you can reduce the worry about situations and events in your life. The key is finding a process that works for you. The goal is to clear your mind and consciously realize that tomorrow is the time to tackle problems and tonight is the time to sleep.

One technique you can try is the practice of writing down all your worries and concerns before you retire for the night. Keep a notebook available for just this purpose. List in point form those things that you are worrying about. Make note of which of these items you can deal with tomorrow. Have a decisive plan of action for what you are going to accomplish tomorrow. This will make you feel positive that tomorrow you will take care of certain items on your "worry list".

Make a separate list in your notebook that contains only those things in your life over which you have no control. Firmly tell yourself that these items are beyond your power.

Once you have completed your two lists it is time to close the notebook and repeat to yourself that you will not think of these worries until tomorrow. If, during the night, you find yourself thinking about any of the items in either list make a mental note to catch yourself and sternly remind yourself that the covers of the notebook are closed and cannot be opened.

Another technique for keeping daily anxiety and worry out of your thoughts while you try to fall asleep is to keep a daily diary. Make sure to include all your worries and fears in your diary along with the events of the day. The goal here is to actualize your feelings in writing so that you can be free of them in the evening. The act of physically writing is the key here to acknowledging that you are worried while at the same time giving yourself permission to rest and deal with these feeling tomorrow.

You can reduce the effects that worry and stress can create for your body by using some of the other methods for achieving relaxation described in this book. You may want to consider a combination of soothing music and yoga to clear your mind. Or perhaps reading quietly will keep your mind from wandering back to the stressful thoughts you had during the day. Once again, the goal here is to relax and prepare you for a night of restful sleep.